Memories

This story takes place before Will and Deanna got married in any of my stories. I've rated it PG-13.

Deanna was in her quarters waiting for Will to pick her up for dinner. While she was waiting, she remembered the other day, when Will said she had given her the best advice anyone had ever given him. She wondered what it might have been.

She remembered a time when Will was having problems with two different women. She sat there listening and wondered, "Why are you telling me this?" However, she never said it out loud. As it turned out one woman had been using to Will to get to her boyfriend. The other was just stringing him along. He was really wanting the woman who was stringing him along and did not know how to talk to her about this.

Deanna so desparately wanted to scream, "Forget about them! Can't you see that I am the woman who truly wants you?" But she did not. After all they were suppose to be just friends. So she tried really hard to suppress her feelings and give Will the same advice she would give anyone else who came to her with such a problem.

"Will, why don't you tell this woman, who is stringing you along, how you feel." she said, "It can't make things any worse than what they are. If you don't talk to her, the relationship will never get any better."

"Maybe you are right." he said.

"It can't get any worse." she stated. "At worse, the relationship will end and at best she will stop treating you this way."

"I'll try and talk to her." he said. "But personally, I'm about ready to give up on women."

"You, Will Riker! Give up on women!" she teased.

At the time she gave him the advice she feared to give him. If she said what she really wanted to say she could lose what ever chance she had at having him to herself, due to selfishness. She had to let him figure out, for himself, what he really wanted and if he were truly hers......

The chime to her quarters rang. She knew instantly who it was. She could sense his presence even before he rang the doorbell.

"Come in," she said.

"You ready for dinner?" Will asked.

"I'm always ready to do anything with you." she said with a wicked smile.

Will just laughed and pulled her in close for a hug. "God, you smell so good! I've been waiting to give you a hug all day today."

"I haven't been able to get you out of my mind today. Just waiting for you to put your arms around me." she responded.

"I hope they were good thoughts." he smiled.

"Definitely." she said, not stating the whole truth.

"Well, let's go." he said. "Guinan has plans to make us a special meal tonight."

"You made reservations in Ten-Forward?"

"Yes, I did." he admitted. "I wanted a special dinner tonight for my Imzadi."

Deanna smiled from ear to ear. She loved how he always made her feel so good with the littlest things. Of course his touch had always made her feel so warm and good, but it was the little things he did for her that made her feel the best. The first rose he ever gave her. The first poem he ever wrote her. The first kiss he gave her, which was in the Jalara. All of those things made her feel so good inside that she could not help but smile.

She remembered the first time he had ever written a poem to her. To her it was so beautiful. To anyone else it might have been terrible writing, but not to her. She could read between the lines and knew just how he felt deep down inside. She still had that poem, written on paper, which was a rare commodity. She even had the first rose he ever sent her. It was dried and in a scrapbook. She kept everything he gave her. While they might not be special to anyone else, it all held a special place in her heart. To this day, it all made her smile and gave her that special warm feeling. As though his arms were wrapped around her. It did not matter how many women he had before he decided he really wanted her. All that matter was, he was here with her now. Her Imzadi, which was forever.

They arrived at Ten-Forward and when they reached their table, he pulled the chair out for her. As she sat and he helped her move her chair up to the table he kissed her on the cheek. All she could do was smile. She feared she could loose these wonderful feelings anytime. She refused to think about that tonight, though. Instead she concentrated on him. His beautiful eyes. His beard that made him look so distinguished and his words.

"You know, Deanna." he started. "I am so glad we are having this night together."

"As am I, Imzadi."

"Do you know how much I love hearing that word?" he inquired. "I've missed hearing that word for a long time and I am so glad we are together again."

She just smiled. Then she asked the question she had been wanting to ask for days now. "Will," she paused, "What did you mean, when you said that I gave you the best advice anyone had ever given you?"

He almost choked on his drink, "Well... a... What I meant was... I feel you actually listen to me. That I can tell you anything."

"That's my job to listen." she stated as though she were on duty.

"No, that's not what I meant." he said. He could not find the right words. "You listen and that's all I meant."

"So my advice was not good?" she asked a little taken aback.

"No, no. That's not what I meant." he could not say what was on his mind. "You just. Oh, I can't come up with the words."

"So, now you're criticizing my counseling techniques?"

"No! Your counseling techniques are very good." he said a little shocked. "Deanna, why do I get this feeling that this is more than just whether or not I think your counseling techniques are good or not?"

"It's not." she sighed. "I've just been analyzing too much, as you say. It's really not important."

"Deanna, as I've told you, everything that's on your mind is important to me."

"It's nothing." she said firmly. "Let's just enjoy tonight."

"You're avoiding my question." he accused. Then he moved his chair over closer to her, touching her hand softly. "Tell me what is on your mind." he said gently.

"Really, Will."

"Deanna, I'm not going to let this go." he said. "You're the one who always talks about communication. Why don't you take some advice out of your own book and tell me what is on your mind?"

"Oh, Will." she said a little sad. "You remember a few weeks ago you said that I gave you the best advice anyone has ever given you?"

"Yes and I really did mean it." he reaffirmed.

"I've been pondering it all this time and I was remembering the time you had problems with these two women."

"I remember that. Go on." he encouraged.

"The advice I gave you was the hardest advice I have ever given anyone." she stated. "I really wanted to say something different, but then I thought, if you were anyone else, I would give you the advice I did give you." she explained with tears forming in her eyes. "I put my own feelings aside, so as to not seem selfish."

"You, Deanna, selfish?" it was more of a statement then a question. "What was it you really wanted to say?"

"We were suppose to be no more than friends and I tried hard to convince myself of that." she said. "If I were to tell you, at that time, to forget about them. I'm the one who is really interested in you and not them, that would have been selfish of me."

"So why didn't you go ahead and say it anyway?" Will asked.

"As I said, it would have been very selfish of me." she stated again. "You had to figure out what you really wanted and if I kept you from doing that I would have been selfish. It's like the old saying, "If it's your's let it go and if it's truly your's, it will come back to you." The tears rolled down her eyes. She felt so bad that she could not have said what she really felt way back then. If she had, she might have lost him forever or maybe they would have been together again, sooner.

Will did not know what to say. The only thing that came to his mind was shock that she had felt this way for so long and never said a word until recently.

Finally he said, "You knew even then what you wanted, how you felt and where your heart was."

It was just a statement, but Will had wished the same. He too did not have the courage even then to say what he wanted. She was right. They were suppose to be just friends at that time, but he too wanted to be more than just friends. Even then he felt bonded to her. A deep seeded soul-bonding that would not go away ever.

He held her close to him as the tears fell from her eyes. "Deanna," he whisperred softly. "I also wish I could have said similar things that were on my mind at that time." Then kissed her on top of her head.

He only released her when Guinan brought their meal to their table. "Is everything alright?" she asked with concern written all over her face.

"Yes," Deanna said. "Everything is just fine." Quickly wiping the tears from her eyes.

Will confirmed it with a nod and said, "They are now."

Guinan bowwed slightly and sensed that all was alright. Will and Deanna smiled at each other in reassurance that they would never be parted again physically, emotionally, or mentally. They were Imzadi and that was forever and no one and nothing would come between them again.

Music is from the Bald One Of Brooklyn. Link to his site is on the e-cards page.